neoacidcreep

1. I hate when people fill out bios on superfluous websites.  I don't need to know you are single on Singlesnet.com, I don't care that your facebook list all the minutia of your life, fuck myspace.
2. I hate when people start out said bios with, "I don't know what to say...", if you don't know what to say, abstain.  It is better to look like a fool then to open your mouth and prove it.
3. I hate when they end with "...if you want to know just ask.".  No fucking shit, thanks for the heads up that you are obviously looking to communicate with other people through today's sock puppet.
4. I hate when they use tween speak inside of said bios.  Don't, just don't.
5. I hate when people tag photos with "I look so ugly in this." You don't think you do, or you wouldn't have posted it to the fucking internet.
6. I hate tween speak in general, I hate that my spell check knows what tween fucking speak is.  I hate that it has wouldn't underlined but not fucking tween.
7. I hate when people define themselves as "into everything".  No you aren't.  Shut up.  Stop lying.
8. I hate it when the person's picture shows them as obviously as overweight but their activities include a whole plethora of sports and "working-out".  Liar.
9. I hate when chicks think they are being clever by taking pictures that obscure their body.  Sweetie, we don't need to see your body to get that you are fat, we automatically assume you are a whale because you are hiding the fact.
10. I hate when people have pictures of their animals as their profile picture.
11. Or when they tell me I "must love" animals to talk to them.  No I don't.  Fuck you.
12. Fuck tween speak in general.  Do not sully my language because you are too fucking lazy to type two extra letters.
13. Fuck emoticons.
14. Stop with the surveys.  Just stop.  It was bad enough when I got the stupid emails on AOL, now it is just annoying that I have to check my email to find out that I have a message on a website that I have to log-in to to find out that you want to know my five favorite foods.  You don't want to know, you don't care, and I don't care.
15. I hate when people leave overly complex away messages.
16. Or when they leave instructions for me to call their cell phone.  I don't want to call your cell, if I wanted to speak to you I would have...wait on it...called your fucking phone!
17. I hate when people are constantly changing their status on websites.  I don't need minute to minute updates on how your day is going.  I don't care that you are in class, or cold, or hungry, or tired.  Fuck yourself.
18. It is the letter P, it is not a tongue sticking out, it is a P.  It doesn't denote that you are being funny or sardonic, it's a fucking P.
19. I hate it when people think they are being cute, or clever, and write in lower case, upper case, lower case, et cetra.  That is so ASCII/BBS old school.
20. Seriously.  Fuck emoticons.
21. Just because it is a text message, or an instant message, or an e-mail (especially e-mail), using some fucking grammar.
22. I get that your myspace/facebook profile defines you as a person, I get it, I don't need to spend fifteen minutes loading your profile cause you need to have an animated-dancing, pink, teddy-bear background, and 47 pictures of what type of fairy you are, or if you were a animal what type you would be, or whatever other idiotic survey you took that repersents you at very deep personal level.  My bandwith is important to me!
23. Why do you have an overabundance of pictures from some party you were at were you aren't even in the majority of them?
24. You do not have multiple hundreds of friends.  I know you don't, you know (at some base level) you don't, other people know you don't.  It's one thing to try and meet new people it is a completely different story when you needlessly exaggerate your popularity by friending anyone and everyone that has ever agrigated in your "similar fields".
25. Your font style does not define you!
26. Fuck "lol".  You are not laughing, no one has ever laughed and "lol-ed".  Stop.
27. Why is it not cool to ask a chick friend what they are wearing via text message?
28. I hate when people talk about their online profiles in the real world.  Please stop hinting that you want me to friend you in a casual conversation, do not tell me that you updated your default picture, or changed some minute detail on your page.
29. No, seriously, fuck tween speak.
30. Check out my facebook at Josh Bandersnatch.  AnD CoMmEnT oN My EnTrY! ;-P!!!!! TaTiLy NeW pIcS 4 u 2 c!!!!